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I go to bed, feeling very peaceful, and then something happens to trigger thoughts of death in my mind and if I’m lucky, I can get rid of them. Other nights, they stay there at the front of my mind, so that no matter what I think about or if I get out of bed to do something else, they’re still there. Even trying to write doesn’t help because I’m too tired to focus. Sleeping pills don’t help, because I need at least ten hours to burn them out of my system. Even with a shit-ton of caffeine in the morning, I’m still groggy until about ten hours. Since I need that much time and I have to get up at 6:15 to be to work on time, that would mean taking them at no later than 8:15, which would seriously cut into the very, very small amount of time I get to spend with my wife. And believe me, that ain’t happening. Hopefully by getting this all out on ‘paper,’ it’ll help the process. I can’t imagine it can hurt. Just know that everything in this ‘story’ is rhetorical and honestly, I don’t want to. This was the opening that Jim had been waiting to hear.“There may be a way, Dana. I would need to know that you were punished in accordance with the pain that you have caused to me and my reputation. And I would need to find something that compensated the players for the enjoyment that they missed at the party.”“Well I am sure that I could arrange for free stuff at another party, perhaps an even bigger one, for the basketball team. And, I guess, I could ask to have my pay docked to help offset the expenses of the free stuff.”“Dana, I appreciate that gesture but I would need something more immediate and direct in order to keep my business. I believe that the old fashioned punishments were the best, the only ones that really worked. The one way that I can be truly certain that you have been punished to a degree that equals my pain is if you are soundly spanked here in my office.”“I could never agree to that” Dana retorted.“That is your choice. Thank you for stopping by, but our.
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