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It made me feel as if I wasn't lovable.Bingo! Give the lady a kewpie doll!Wanda laughed, which tickled me.So, you believed you weren't lovable. What were the results of this erroneous belief? Josh asked.I had a difficult time... no, that's waffling, and Gloria wouldn't let me hedge anything. I couldn't maintain a relationship, Josh, sexual or otherwise. Sexually, I was frigid. I don't think I had more than ten orgasms from the age of twelve when my parents died until I met you, and those orgasms happened during my early teen years from masturbating. I not only suppressed my memories of what my parents did to me, I also suppressed my sexual urges and responses.Do you think you've reconnected with and repaired your past?I've reconnected with my past. Repaired it? No. Some repairs have been made, but I'm not cured, Josh. Still, I think I can join the living now. Will I repair my past? I don't know. Some of it is repairable, other parts - fuck it, I say. Let it lay.I could feel her grin.. His name's Steve. I was looking at his dad's car." Oh," Julie didn't know or care about cars at all, but that was okay with me. She was my girlfriend, so she didn't have to. "You guys are still coming over tomorrow, right?" Yeah, we're coming," I smiled a little to myself. "I miss you," I said softly. "I really miss you." Me too. I wish I lived where you are. You could come to my house and look at my dad's car too," she sighed theatrically. "Then I wouldn't have to worry so much." Worry?" I laughed. "About what?" About you and um, I don't know. I just..." another sigh. "Can you come over tonight?" her voice was soft and sweet."Um..." I felt a little rush of excitement, but I didn't know if I could or not. It was late already, like ten o'clock, a little after ten actually. "It's hard," I said and I felt let down myself. "I wish I could." I just want to see you every day, that's all." Me too." We were quiet for a few seconds. "I love you," I told her and I really meant it. I felt like.
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