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The following is a tongue-in-cheek story inspired by The Calendar Girls:‘And now ladies, I will announce the results of the home made preserves contest: In third place was Mrs Patterson’s beetroot chutney. The second prize goes to Mrs Hamilton-Smythe with her celery and walnut conserve. The first prize once again is taken by the Reverend Betty Finch with her delicious damson jam.’A ripple of applause rang round the Widebotham village hall.The chairman, Mrs Elsie Rippendale, a relative newcomer to the village having lived there for a mere twenty years was still viewed with a degree of suspicion by some of the members. How had she, a Leeds woman, a newcomer to the Dales risen to assume the chairmanship? A relative stranger from the big city. The cheek of it.Mrs Rippendale continued:‘Now ladies, I come to the third item on our agenda: The Annual Calendar. As you will all be aware, we did extremely well with our Nude Calendar for several years. It was quite ground-breaking in its day and. Steph gave a filled a champagne flute with Dom Perignon to each of us. We filled our plates with the desserts and went to the reading area. When everyone was comfortable, I handed out the book we were reading. I handed each of them a pink gift bag, telling them to open them. They all softly gasped as they looked in their bag. Everyone received a pink nine inch E-glass Screamer Glass Dildo, a pink six and a half inch Velvet Touch Slim Vibrator. ‘Girls, we are going to really spice things up today.’ ‘What do you have in mind, Monica?’ Asked Steph as she and the others looked anxiously at me. “You will see soon enough, Steph.” I asked them if they agreed that the last two meetings had been very sexually charged. They all agreed with me. Telling them that I needed to masturbate after those meetings because I was so aroused. They giggled, as they too admitted to masturbating when they went home. As I handed out the books, I kissed each of them on the lips. Each kiss turned passionate,.
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