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At first, her sexual thoughts shamed her, but she came to revel in them, taking solace in her imagined satiation. Her mind's eye pictured his lean body, his square and resolute jaw line set on wide shoulders. She hoped that she would find the desire in him that she felt throbbing deep within herself.As Helen's friends married, they whispered their sexual secrets in their coffee groups. They spoke of passion and pain. They recounted the breaking of their inner bodies to please their men, the later pleasures. All this inflamed Helen. She struggled to stop listening to them, but she could not. She didn't know how much of the stories were factual, or embellishments. She kept her silence. She only determined to experience it for herself when George returned.Despite the carnage George witnessed, he remained kind, decent, and a little self-conscious. He earned two purple hearts. He never told Helen; he didn't want to worry her. His experiences had changed him. Still tall and lean, he added. I pointed up onto the stage and said, "I work with that guy," to my dad."Oh huh. I miss when you used to bring friends around Chucky. Sorry,Beth," my dad blushed."Yeah..." I had a bunch of friends in high school but they all went tonice Ivy League universities all over the place. We all completely losttouch over the last few years. I hadn't made any new friends to replacethem. I was pretty happy with just Allie and my dad. I preferred reallyclose relationships with a small number of people than lots and lots of"friends" who were really just acquaintances, though I guess now I hadneither.At one point in the proceedings, I tried to catch Jonathan 's eye andwave at him. For a second I thought he'd seen me, but he never lookedback in my direction again or acknowledged me. Maybe I looked toodifferent in this costume.After the performance one of the actors who was dressed as a knight cameup to me, went down on one knee and said, "My lady," then rose and put asmall crown of flowers on my.
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