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“no can do - I’m the Lambourne genie”Captain Nemo’s submarine ‘Nautilus’ has finally been disarmed.It is now called the ‘Naughtyless’A Vicar was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners, who he knew was an unkempt housekeeper. When he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life.“Were these dishes ever washed?” he asked his hostess, running his fingers over the grit and grime.She replied, “They’re as clean as soap and water could get them.”He felt a bit apprehensive, but blessed the food anyway and started eating. It was really delicious and he said so, despite the dirty dishes.When dinner was over, the hostess took the dishes outside and yelled to her two dogs “Here Soap! ... Here Water!”The Highways Agency found over 200 dead crows on the M42 near Birmingham recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone’s relief, confirmed the. "It's not going to getany longer." Sorry Kim," I said, "it's just that it feels like everyone can seeunderneath." You are a sissy, this isn't the last time that you'll be wearing ashort skirt or dress out in public. If I were you I'd get use to it,"she said."I don't know if I can," I said."Well," she said, "think of it this way, the boys will like seeing yourlegs." Gross," I said, "I don't want boys looking at me." You saw yourself in the mirror," she said "you make a very cute girl.I'm sure boys will checking you out. If they find out that you are acute sissy and not a cute girl they might not like it. So, I guessyou'll just have to try to be the best girl you can be."We kept walking, it seemed like a hundred miles away or maybe I justwished it was. Anyway, we came up on the football field, we walked overto the bleachers and found my parents."Kim, Bobbie over here!" my mother yelled as she waived her arms.I wanted to crawl in a hole. There were a lot of people there and no onecared.
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