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I had no one to talk to about my need to wear women’s clothing. I didn’t know how to explore my sexual feelings and desires other than the web. I was still deep in the closet, and my parents wished I stayed in there forever.Luckily my family wasn’t very clingy, and they left me alone in my room for the most part, especially at night. So, I could safely put on my makeup and dress up in my lingerie or dresses.I would surf for porn, look at pictures, and read stories of like-minded people. I went to a few chat sites as well, most everyone was very accepting of me and the fact that I was a “sissy boy,” “fem boy,” “trans,” “t-girl,” or a “crossdresser”.One night a window popped up like any other, but this was from a man named Max. After chatting for only a little while, I found out he was different from most. He was kind, yet firm. He was brutally honest and asked me to be the same. He asked me about my feelings dressing up as a girl. What I wanted in my life. Most importantly, he told. Calling you on your cell would probably be a bad idea.Absolutely, I wrote. My mom checks it weekly to see what I've been up to. Just like she checks my computer weekly. Good thing IM's are pretty much untraceable, huh?Good thing, he wrote back. So, would you let me kiss you?He did, a week later. It was a hard thing to arrange, a 21-year old and me. It took three days of brain storming to set it up. I do gymnastics once a week and he would meet me at school. I thought I could slip away for 10 minutes near the end of the session without causing an Amber alert and we took a chance on that. If you think that's stretching it, you try dreaming up a clandestine meet between a 10th grader and a college sophomore sometime. And live to talk about it.At 4:45 I slipped outside and met him in the hallway. He immediately snuck me into a side corridor and down the corridor to a locked gate. My heart hammered and I felt like someone in bad need of oxygen, like a mountain climber or a scuba diver.
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