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" I shrug and finish eating my pizza. As I take my last bite, I look around. My eyes stop on some girl I've never seen before, And shes staring at me. It feels like shes staring deep in to my soul. I sort of raise my eyebrows and stare back for a moment. This goes on for awhile before A crash next to me startles me out of my trance. I look over and Will is picking up his laptop, I take another drink of Dr. Pepper before the bell rings. Three hours later I'm In Mrs. Eubanks class and we are watching some movie about how fast food is bad. I am half asleep as the last bell rings, signaling that the day is over. I hop up, grab my bag and walk out. I stroll out of the west campus doors and go to the bus pick up. I step on and sit next to Josh. "So is it still cool if I drop by at around four bud?" He nods and smirks, he pretends he's smoking a blunt and then goes back to staring out the window. Halfway to my house, He nudges me with his elbow, And asks, "You see Jenna's ass in those. .. My wife wanted more attention then she thought she got ... She believed she deserved more of whatever she wanted, and somehow that whatever included sex.So I stopped beating myself up. I don't preen or pose, though ... Too artificial pretending to be anything else to enjoy myself, is the way I look at it. I know I'm not Brad Pitt, but I'm not Lyle Lovett, either ... and besides, Lyle did all right, didn't he, at least for awhile.But I was angry, after I stopped beating myself up. How could she dare to destroy the promise of what we had shared? The bitch! Instead of holding hands and looking out at friends and family at our 50th anniversary, I found myself trying to decide if I could trust anyone enough to risk trying to love again. And for me sex had always been associated with love.I ate at home, which meant I learned how to cook. I exercised, since I wasn't dating, which meant I actually got into shape ... better shape then I had ever been before; better shape than most of the.
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