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”I must have said thank you, because I usually do, even though what I really wanted to say was, that is the lamest line I've ever heard. I can’t remember if I asked where she was or if he volunteered it. Either way, within seconds of hearing his voice for the first time, I learned that his wife had passed away a year ago.I was thirty. I’d never been married, though I came very close to believing that I would be. But I’d lived enough life to know these moments don’t come by often—the moments when you look at another person and absolutely nothing stands in between the both of you. You can see who they are, and you know them, with the clarity of a crystal, and know that they know you as well.He kept apologizing, his eyes darting between me and the tabletop, saying, “I’m sorry. It’s just that you really, really favor her, you know?”I couldn’t know, of course. I couldn’t know the dreams that had lain between them, dreams probably still hot and burning in his hands when she died. He told me. Why did I just think about him? Perhaps it’s guilt that has called him back to attention. I ignored his phone call after the Skype incident. I was confused and, yes, I’m ashamed to admit this, but I was also angry. I had screwed up, forgetting for an instant that David isn’t mine anymore. Knowing about his girlfriend is one thing, but seeing her is a completely different subject. I didn’t expect her to be so nice and jovial. Her smile was blinding. For the first time in a very long time—since junior high— I felt insecure. So, yeah, I ignored David’s call and spent way too long thinking about what they would talk about, whether he had fallen in love with her, whether they had already made love… I couldn’t take it. I directed all of my energy to my going away party and putting on a brave face for my family and friends. I’ve never traveled outside of the U.S. I was nervous, yet I refused to let them see my agitation. I pretty much ignored my poor phone for the remainder of the night and.
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