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Still I needed to tell him. ‘They talk to me. Not just Cassie, all of them. It was a research project when we started. It really was, or at least I thought it was. But you can’t restrict the talk to only the business. When we’re alone in the car they tell me their problems. I mainly just listen, but sometimes…’ Gary sat there silent as I explained how I had managed to get myself so entangled in my passengers lives. Part of what I told him was a revelation to me too. It was surprising to both of us how much I knew, how much of the minutiae of their lives lived in my memories of them. Somehow I had not dared look at some of my actions from another perspective. These women were more than co-workers, and that was the problem, their status was unclear. Were they friends? That answer came quickly. They were, and it was the cost of that friendship that was the real concern. Nothing was settled that night, though I had a lot to think about. For all of my encouragement of Cassie, it came to. “I’ve had a really great time with you as well, Kevin,” she said, “So what’s wrong?”"What's wrong is that before I found you in that stairwell yesterday I had a certain standard of life. I had things the way I could handle them and things were smooth. Boring and not very satisfying to most people, true, but it was my life."I continued, "However, since meeting you, all that is gone. You have, in a very short amount of time, showed me that that way of life - what I had before meeting you - was not working for me. I didn't know it at the time, but now that I do, I don't think I can go back to that life again," I said."What are you saying, Kevin? I don't understand," Becky said, confused.I turned to face her and I took her hand. “Becky, I would very much like it if you would stay here with me. If you would come live with me. Now I don’t want you to think that I am taking pity on you because you are homeless - if anything you should be pitying me. This trailer is a terribly lonely place.
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