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And those first 10 or so guys I was with, it all happened in a an 18 month period or so. I got into a relationship and I mostly put it all behind me. Every now and then I would have to fulfill a painful obsession like a vampire needing a blood fix, but for the most part it was behind me. Most of those painful obsessions are left unmetSince that first time I swallowed I find it very hard not to want to eat it all. I love swallowing the little prize. It is one of the few glories of life. The feeling of power of taking a man who is unsatisfied with the boring sex life of his reasonably nice and thoroughly mundane marriage. A guy who hasn't really been fully attended to and who is filled with all the guilt of cheating on his family and the shame of being with another guy. To have the power of seduction in having him worked up to a place where he would chance it all for the release. Making him convulse and explode in ecstasy and then to collapse in to exhaustion leaving all of his pent. After the funeral, daddy, with a surprised look on his face, told me that were we not going back to Germany. The Army was sending him to Ft. Leonard Wood, in the middle of nowhere, Missouri. I would later find out daddy was surprised to be going there because it was an engineering base, not a major hub of intelligence.For the next four years we lived in a little two-bedroom apartment provided by the Army. I began school the next year in the Fall of 1981 and was so bored I came home at the end of my first week and begged daddy to let me stay home. Instead he signed me up for soccer on the condition that I go to school and get good grades. I think it was just his way of keeping my mind off of mommy. I would still wake up in the middle of the night with bad dreams. When this would happen, and it happened more often than daddy or my doctor wanted, he would bundle me up in my favorite blanket and carry me into his room to finish the night. Soccer seemed to make the dreams come less often,.
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