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What’s so bad about that?” “He was the original owner!”A blonde is walking down the street and stops a man to ask for the time. The man, looking at his watch, helpfully responds “Why, certainly! The time is now four o’clock”. The blonde scratches her head and says “You know, it’s really weird. I’ve been asking people that question all day long, and each time I get different answer!”Q: How can you tell an extroverted accountant?A: When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.I was sat in a restaurant and got hit on the back of the head by a prawn cocktail. I looked round and this bloke shouts “That’s just for starters!”A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says “Sorry, you know the law, you’ve got to go back across the border right now”. The Mexican man pleads with them “No, noooo Senor, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!” The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I’m going to make it hard for. His hand on the inside of my thigh as he drove said it all.He and I spent Christmas day at my folks' house, and he got to meet my Grampa. He had brought a bottle of whisky as a gift, which pleased old Ian very much. Mom and I did the dishes as the men sat in the den talking, and Mom said, "He's a handsome one, he is."I nodded my agreement, smiling. We drove home, and he parked in the garage without letting me out at the front door as he usually did."Merry Christmas," he said, handing me a set of keys."What are these for?" I asked, puzzled."Our new Volvo station wagon," he said.Parked next to us was a vehicle with a large red bow attached to the roof, and I squealed with delight. It was bright red with a leather interior, and the inside had that "new car" smell.I looked it over and said, "Wow!"He hugged me tight and said, "It's supposed to be the safest car on the road. I can't bear the thought of losing you or Ellie in that thing you drive."I put the keys in my purse and we went into.
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