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"Before you start freaking out asking who I am, where you are, and what the hell just happened, let me explain. I am God -- and despite what everyone on Earth believes, I make mistakes, granted I haven't made one in over 2,000 years... MARY! Reset the 'days without incidents' count. Anyways, you weren't supposed to die today. I was trying to end the life of drug mule with a very similar name to yours halfway across the world." Okay...this is a lot to take in..." I said, very confusedly. "So what now, I'm just dead? And can you really expect me to believe that you're God? I'm not even religious." Everyone says the same damn things when they get here. I'm not going to stand here for 20 mins to prove to you that I am who I say I am. However, you won't be doubting me much longer." Oh really? And why is that?" I said with extensive doubt in my voice."Well, like I said, you weren't supposed to die today. And, while I'm not the oh-so-kind God that many people make me out to be, I do like to. It was an affliction that only affected men.There were theories that it was a throw-back from early early man as amethod to ensure the continued survival of the species like some clamshellfish. When there was too many men in the group, some wouldspontaneously grow a vagina to continue the species. The last recordedperson that was afflicted with Aphrodite's syndrome was a Britishsoldier who was examined during the first world war. Apparently, thereason it was so rare was because all it would take to avoid sufferingAphrodite's syndrome was to ejaculate once through sex or justwhacking off. Adrien would have scoffed at this if he didn't stillfeel emotionally drained. Even then, the evidence was right there inhis lap. There was some other stuff about his affliction but he lostinterest.He pushed himself away from the computer and wandered to his bedroomwhere he sat down on the edge of his bed. He then looked down at hiscrotch as he opened his legs wide. He closed his legs and pulled.
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