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” At this point there was a long pause. “Since I know what a pervert you are, I can assume you want sex. That can be arranged, just tell me where to meet you.” “Oh, if only I was going to be that easy on you. Here are your instructions. First go and buy a pretty leather dog collar and matching leash. Make sure the collar fits around your neck. You will be wearing the collar. Second, you need to free up either Friday or Saturday night. Once you have done this, call me.” With that Adam hung up the phone. A couple of days later his phone rang again with Amanda showing up in the caller ID. “Well, hello Amanda. How are you today?” “Whatever, I am free tomorrow night.” “What time are you free and do you have a curfew?” “I can be ready at 7:30. I have to be home by midnight.” “Good, that will give us plenty of time. Are you ready for your instructions?” “Sure.” “At 8:00pm I will pick you up from your school parking lot. When I get there, I expect you to be parked beneath one of the street. It sounds impressive. His business cards say that. They leave people scratching their heads and thinking that it’s some new high-tech business. But the reality is that my husband and his best friend, aided by an array of extremely technical equipment, including a thirty-year-old, moderately dented pick-up truck, two secondhand ladders and a big jug of my world-famous lemonade, paint houses for a living.In a good month, they can bring in six figures ... if you include the numbers both before and after the decimal point. Of course, sometimes you have to add a zero or two, but it’s still six figures.The problem is that what it means is that I’m the one bringing home the bacon and watching every God damned penny to make sure our bills are paid on time.But every time I turn around, Bobby is signing me up to pay for every needless expense and whim that anybody in our immediate or extended circle comes up with.In this case, I really, really want to say, not only, “NO!” but an emphatic, “FUCK.
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