I expected anger, resentment, maybe a little pain; but the only thing that I recognized was the pleasure. I'm sure the others were there: as a matter of fact, I was positive of it since I had experienced them all after I had first seen them last night. But that was before I was this close.As Nan turned toward the door and went to open it, I had a few seconds to catch my breath and calm myself down. I had to be very careful: I understood that my feelings were in chaos and my control was ragged at best. Sure, over the past five plus years I had learned control and patience, but those were for things I could control; things that were predictable and for which the rewards and consequences were clear. They never included wives, or ex-wives or children or any of those things that were part of a civilized life. Prison was far from civilized. It was dog-eat-dog where the strong survived and the weak succumbed and the result was a culture that worked. Those with a skill or a talent or some. Whenever we talked, it was easy to see that we have so much in common and have plenty to talk about. That’s another fantasy many men don’t talk about, the ability to be able to talk about cool stuff after sex. If men could find a woman who talked about movies or even check out sports center after making love instead of talking about love and commitment, I guarantee she’d be getting a ring big enough to skate on in less than a year. Men actually fall head over heels for the tomboy because they can hang around her like they do one of the guys and Courtenay was that kind of tomboy. She was pretty yet tough and willing to speak her mind when she had to. I found out that her tough tomboy attitude came from being raised with three brothers and no sisters, so she had no choice but to play around with the boys when growing up. It never took away from her feminine side, as she still took the time to make herself look stunning each day when she came into work. While her office attire was nice.
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