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“Mick, I will move in with you today. I have enough money that we can be comfortable if we live as simply as you do. I can walk away from my job today. Sarah is gone and Danny is taking very good care of her and the kids. All I really want is to be in your life. No! To BE your life, again.”“Keri, I brought you here for breakfast so that we could get back to where we were. We walked every couple of days. You dressed to be admired and I admired you. We talked about blues and my passion for my work. You talked about how you were fighting to be ethical in an unethical business.”“I do remember. I also remember that I am still so horny for you that I am ready to drive to your apartment and ravish you. You trusted me let me get close to you, and I did what I did and pushed you away. I will never do that again. I will never hurt you again.”“I learned the hard way that when I hurt you, my lovely Mick, you withdraw utterly. I know that you did that to protect yourself and not to get even with. . when you found out ... I wouldn't be able to control the consequences. She was right of course."In my own confused mind I thought that if I told you what I wanted to do, you would understand somehow. I didn't want to go behind your back. I didn't want to deceive you. I never for a moment wanted to humiliate or belittle you. It just never entered my mind. But I did, didn't I. I did humiliate and belittle you. Just telling you what I wanted was enough, wasn't it."I looked at Howard carefully. I don't know what kind of reaction I expected, but he remained calm and composed. I pushed on."I don't know how to tell you how ashamed I am of what I have done to you and how sorry I am. I know an apology is not enough. Ginny has recommended a psychiatrist that she says can help me. I do need help to understand why I behaved the way I did. I will call her next week to see if she will accept me as a patient."You must know by now that I will do anything to preserve our marriage. I love you with.
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