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“Oh, wait I forgot. Fuck you.” “Let’s see. You started with Tony. He was a linebacker and dumb as hell. I’m kind of amazed he could even string together two words to ask you out.” In his best caveman imitation, Mark said. “Ma... Ma... Mackenzie... da... da... date... Toe...Toe... Tony tonight.” “You’re an asshole.” “How could you date that idiot?” “He’s really cute and has an amazing smile. Have you seen his Abs? You always say I’m superficial. He was all looks and no substance.” Ignoring me Mark continued, “Then you moved on to Mason. I don’t know if you moved up or down on the dating scale with Mason. The guy’s fucking huge. A defensive end, well, he was the entire defensive line. I mean people had to clear the hallway when he walked by. What did you ever see in him?” “He’s really sweet,” I said in my best ‘awwwww shucks, he’s cute and I’m fawning’ voice. Quickly returning to my normal voice, “Yeah, he’s not huge everywhere.” “Oh, no, no, that’s gross,” Mark protested. “No,. I won't bother explaining the rationales behind them and the wordings, such as leaving out 'in the presence of friends and family'. You're very smart about things like this, so I'm sure you'll work out most of my reasons easily. -- "I've removed 'The Gift' because I want this document to just be the vows themselves. I'm perfectly happy with you and Carol making a personal statement at the time you make the vows, but it should be personal and not dictated to you by being on this page. If you want to make a statement, I suggest you cooperate to write one you can both recite together, because I want to emphasize your equality and I don't want to risk one of you feeling inferior because she thinks the other girl made a better statement. Having said that, please let Carol do most of the work developing your 'joint' statement if you do one. You can influence it, but please let her think it was mostly her work, because allowing her to contribute to the formal ceremony that way will go a.
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